Slammed Poetry

Poetry is definitely the highlight of Colleen Hoover’s Slammed series and I think it’s just fair to share it with you here. Hope you enjoy and feel it too. =)

(P.S. You will appreciate the poetry more if you’ll read the book. I’ve shared the PDF ebooks on the link above ♥)

“… I’m as nowhere as I can be,
Could you add some somewhere to me?”
-The Avett Brothers, Salina

Blue Sweater

Bom Bom…
Bom Bom…
Bom Bom…
Do you hear that?
That’s the sound of my heart beating…
Bom Bom…
Bom Bom…
Bom Bom…
Do you hear that? That’s the sound of your heart beating.
It was the first day of October. I was wearing my blue sweater, you know the one I bought at Dillard’s? The one with a double knitted hem and holes in the ends of the sleeves that I could poke my thumbs through when it was cold but I didn’t feel like wearing gloves? It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look like reflections of the stars on
the ocean.
You promised to love me forever that night…
and boy
did you
ever!
It was the first day of December this time. I was wearing my blue sweater, you know the one I bought at Dillard’s? The one with a double knitted hem and holes in the ends of the sleeves that I could poke my thumbs through when it was cold but I didn’t
feel like wearing gloves? It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look like reflections of the stars on the ocean.
I told you I was three weeks late.
You said it was fate.
You promised to love me forever that night…
and boy
did you
ever!
It was the first day of May. I was wearing my blue sweater, although this time the double stitched hem was worn and the strength of each thread tested as they were puled tight against my growing belly. You know the one.The same one I bought at Dillard’s? The one with holes in the ends of the sleeves that I could poke my thumbs through when it was cold but I didn’t feel like wearing gloves? It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look like reflections of the stars on the ocean.
The SAME sweater you RIPPED off of my body as you shoved me
to the floor, caling me a whore,
telling me
you didn’t love me
anymore.
Bom Bom…
Bom Bom…
Bom Bom…
Do you hear that? That’s the sound of my heart beating.
Bom Bom…
Bom Bom…
Bom Bom…
Do you hear that? That’s the sound of your heart beating.
Do you hear that? Of course you don’t.
That’s the silence of my womb.
Because you
RIPPED
OFF
MY
SWEATER!

Death

Death. The only thing inevitable in life.
People don’t like to talk about death because it makes them sad.
They don’t want to imagine how life will go on without them,
all the people they love will briefly grieve but continue to breathe.
They don’t want to imagine how life will go on without them,
Their children will still grow
Get married
Get old…
They don’t want to imagine how life will
continue to go on without them, Their material things will be sold
Their medical files stamped ‘closed’
Their name becoming a memory to everyone they know.
They don’t want to imagine how life will go on without them, so
instead of accepting it head on, they avoid the subject altogether,
hoping and praying it will somehow
pass them by.
Forget about them,
moving on to the next one in line.
No, they didn’t want to imagine how life would continue to go on…
without them.
But death didn’t forget.
Instead they were met head-on by death, disguised as an
eighteen-wheeler behind a cloud of fog.
No.
Death didn’t forget about them.
If they only would have been prepared,
accepted the inevitable, laid out their plans, understood that it wasn’t just their lives at hand.
I may have legally been considered an adult at the age of nineteen, but
I still felt very much all
of just nineteen.
Unprepared
and overwhelmed
to suddenly have the entire life of a seven-year-old
In my realm.
Death. The only thing inevitable in life.

“But I can tell by watching you
That there’s no chance of pushing through The odds are so against us
You know most young love, it ends like this.”
-The Avett Brothers, I Would Be Sad

“I am sick of wanting
And it’s evil how it’s got me
And every day is worse
Than the one before.”
-The Avett Brothers, Ill With Want

Expectations, evaluations, internal evasions
Fly out of me like puddles of blood from a wound
A fetus from the womb of a corpse in a tomb
Withered and strewn like red sheets on the bed Of an immaculate room.
I can’t breathe,
I can’t win,
From this indelible position I’m in it controls the only piece of my unfortunate soul
Left to fend for itself in this hollowed out hole That I dug from within,
like a prisoner in An unlocked cell sitting in the deepest pits of hell
Unencumbered he’s not in his sweltering spot He could open the door
’cause he don’t need a damn key
But then again,
Why would he?
Circumlocution is his revolution.

“Your heart says not again
What kind of mess have you got me in?
But when the feeling’s there
It can lift you up and take you anywhere.”
-The Avett Brothers, Living of Love

“You can’t be like me
But be happy that you can’t
I see pain but I don’t feel it
I am like the old Tin Man.”
-The Avett Brothers, Tin Man

Pre-Proposal

One million, fifty one thousand and two
hundred minutes.
That’s approximately how many minutes I’ve loved you,
It’s how many minutes I’ve thought about you,
How many minutes I’ve worried about you, How many minutes I’ve
thanked God for you, How many minutes I’ve thanked every deity
in the Universe for you.
One million
Fifty one thousand
And
Two
Hundred
Minutes…
One million, fifty one thousand and two
hundred times.
It’s how many times you’ve made me smile,
How many times you’ve made me dream,
How many times you’ve made me believe,
How many times you’ve made me discover,
How many times you’ve made me adore,
How many times you’ve made me cherish,
My life.
And exactly one million, fifty one
thousand and two hundred minutes from
now, I’m going to propose to you, and ask that you share all the rest
of the minutes of your life
with me.

Mean

According to the thesaurus…
and according to me…
there are over thirty different meanings and substitutions for the word mean.
Jackass, jerk, cruel, dickhead, unkind, harsh, wicked, hateful, heartless, vicious, virulent, unrelenting, tyrannical, malevolent, atrocious, bastard, barbarous, bitter, brutal, callous, degenerate, brutish, depraved, evil, fierce, hard, implacable, rancorous, pernicious, inhumane,monstrous, merciless, inexorable.
And my personal favorite— asshole.

“I wanna have friends
that will let me be
All alone when being alone
is all that I need.”
-The Avett Brothers, The Perfect Space Chapter Eight

Pink Baloon

My name is Olivia King
I am five years old.
My mother bought me a balloon. I remember the day she walked
through the front door with it.
The curly hot pink ribbon trickling down her arm, wrapped around
her wrist. She was
smiling at me as she untied the ribbon and wrapped it around my
hand.
“Here Livie, I bought this for you.”
She called me Livie.
I was so happy. I’d never had a balloon
before. I mean, I always saw balloons wrapped around other kids
wrists in the parking lot of
Wal-Mart, but I never dreamed I would have my very own.
My very own pink balloon.
I was so excited! So ecstatic! So thrilled! I couldn’t believe my
mother bought me something! She’d never bought me anything
before! I played with it for hours. It was full of
helium and it danced and swayed and floated
as I drug it around from room to room with me, thinking of places
to take it. Thinking of places the balloon had never been before. I took
it in the bathroom, the closet, the laundry room,
the kitchen, the living room. I wanted my new best friend to see
everything I saw! I took it to my mother’s bedroom!
My mothers
Bedroom?
Where I wasn’t supposed to be?
With my pink
balloon…
I covered my ears as she screamed at me,
wiping the evidence off of her nose! She
slapped me across the face as she told me how
bad I was! How much I misbehaved! How I never listened! She
shoved me into the hallway and slammed the door, locking my pink
ballooninside with her. I wanted him back! He was my
best friend ! Not hers! The pink ribbon was still
tied around my wrist so I pulled and pulled,
trying to get my new best friend away from her.
And
it
popped.
My name is Eddie.
I’m seventeen years old.
My birthday is next week. I’ll be the big One-Eight. My foster dad is
buying me these boots I’ve been wanting. I’m sure my friends will take
me out to eat. My boyfriend will buy me a gift, maybe even take me to
a movie. I’ll even get a nice little card from my foster care worker,
wishing me a happy eighteenth birthday,
informing me I’ve aged out of the system.
I’ll have a good time. I know I will.
But there’s one thing I know for sure.
I better not get any
shitty ass pink balloons!

“She puts her hands against
the life she had.
Living with ignorance,
Blissful and sad.
But nobody knows what lies behind
The days before the day we die.”
-The Avett Brothers, Die Die Die

“Who cares about tomorrow?
What more is tomorrow,
Than another Day?”
-The Avett Brothers, Swept Away

“With paranoia on my heels
Will you love me still
When we awake and you see that
The sanity has gone from my eyes?”
-The Avett Brothers, Paranoia in B Flat Major Chapter Twelve

” Shooting off vicious
collections of words
The losers make facts
by the things they have heard
And I find myself
trying hard to defend them.”
-The Avett Brothers, All my mistakes

“And I know you need me in the next room over But I am stuck in
here all paralyzed.”
-The Avett Brothers, 10,000 words

“Forever I will move like the world that turns beneath me
And when I lose my direction, I’ll look up to the sky
And when the black cloak drags upon the ground I’ll be ready to surrender,
and remember Well we’re all in this together
If I live the life I’m given, I won’t be scared to die.”
-The Avett Brothers, Once and Future Carpenter Chapter Fifteen

It was July 4th when you came to me. Independence Day. You were
fourteen. You burst in the door and went straight to the refrigerator, telling me you needed a sprite. I
didn’t have any sprite. You told me it was okay and you grabbed a
Dr. Pepper instead. You freaked me out.
I told the caseworker there was no way I could keep you. I’d never
fostered a teenager before. She told
me she would find you somewhere
to go the next day, that she just needed me to keep you for the night.
I was so nervous. I didn’t know what to say to a fourteen year old girl. I didn’t know what kinds of
things they liked, what shows they watched. I was clueless. But you
made it so easy. You were so
worried about making me feel comfortable.
Later that night when it was dark
outside-we heard fireworks. You
grabbed my hand and pulled me off
the couch and drug me outside. We
laid on the grass in the front yard and we watched the sky. You didn’t
shut up. You told me all about the family you just came from, the
family before that, and the family before that. The whole time you
were talking, I was listening.
Listening to this little girl, so full of life. So full and enthralled with a
life that tried so hard to knock her down.
I’ve never been able to give you much.
Other
than
eventually
teaching you how to park, I’ve
never even taught you very much.
But you’ve taught me more than you will ever know. And on this very special birthday, your eighteenth
birthday-you no longer belong to the state of Michigan. And as of right now, you legally no longer
belong to me. You no longer belong to any of the following people that once held claim to you and your
past.

“If I get murdered in the city
don’t go revengin’ in my name
One person dead from such is plenty
No need to go get locked away.”
-The Avett Brothers, Murder in the City Chapter Seventeen

Lake

I used to love the ocean.
Everything about her.
Her coral reefs, her white caps, her roaring
waves, the rocks they lap, her pirate legends and mermaid tails,
Treasures lost and treasures held…
And ALL
Of her fish
In the sea.
Yes, I used to love the ocean,
Everything about her.
The way she would sing me to sleep as I lay in my bed
then wake me with a force
That I soon came to dread.
Her fables, her lies, her misleading eyes, I’d drain her dry
If I cared enough to.
I used to love the ocean,
Everything about her.
Her coral reefs, her white caps, her roaring
waves, the rocks they lap, her pirate legends and mermaid tails,
treasures lost and treasures
held.
And ALL
Of her fish
In the sea.
Wel, if you’ve ever tried navigating your
sailboat through her stormy seas, you would
realize that her white caps are your enemies. If you’ve ever tried
swimming ashore when your
leg gets a cramp and you just had a huge meal
of In-n-Out burgers that’s weighing you down, and her roaring
waves are knocking the wind
out of you, filing your lungs with water as you
flail your arms, trying to get someone’s
attention, but your friends just
wave
back at you?
And if you’ve ever grown up with dreams in your head about life,
and how one of these days you would pirate your own ship and have
your
own crew and that all of the mermaids would love
only
you?
Well , you would realize…
Like I eventualy realized…
That all the good things about her?
All the beautiful?
It’s not real.
It’s fake.
So you keep your ocean,
I’ll take the Lake.

“Close the laundry door
Tiptoe across the floor
Keep your clothes on
I got all that I can take
Teach me how to use
The love that people say you made.”
-The Avett Brothers, Laundry Room

“Ain’t it like most people
I’m no different
281/316
We love to talk on things
We don’t know about.”
-The Avett Brothers, 10,000 words

“Well I’ve been locking myself up in my house for some time now
Reading and writing and reading and thinking and searching for
reasons and missing the seasons The Autumn, the Spring, the Summer,
the snow The record will stop and the record will go Latches
latched the windows down,
the dog coming in and the dog going out Up with caffeine and down
with the shot Constantly worried about what I’ve got Distracted by
work but I can’t make it stop and my confidence on and my confidence
off And I sink to the bottom I rise to the top and I think to myself
that I do this a lot World outside just goes it goes it goes it goes it goes
it goes…”
-The Avett Brothers, Talk on Indolence Chapter Twenty

“Don’t say it’s over
‘Cause that’s the worst news I
could hear I swear that I will
295/316
Do my best to be here
just the way you like it
Even though it’s hard to hide
Push my feelings all aside
I will rearrange my plans and
change for you.”
-The Avett Brothers, If it’s the Beaches Chapter Twenty-One

Schooled

I got schooled this year.
By everyone.
By my little brother…
by The Avett Brothers…
by my mother, my best friend, my teacher, my father,
and
by
a
boy.
a boy that I’m seriously, deeply, madly,
incredibly, and undeniably in love with…
I got so schooled this year.
By a nine-year-old.
He taught me that it’s okay to live life
a little backwards.
And how to laugh
At what you would think
is un-laughable.
I got schooled this year
By a Band!
They taught me how to find that feeling of
feeling again.
They taught me how to decide what to be
And go be it.
I got schooled this year.
By a cancer patient.
She taught me so much. She’s still teaching me so much.
She taught me to question.
To never regret.
She taught me to push my boundaries, Because that’s what they’re
there for.
She told me to find a balance between head
and heart
And then
she taught me how …
I got schooled this year
By a Foster Kid
She taught me to respect the hand that I was
dealt.
And to be grateful I was even dealt a hand.
She taught me that family
Doesn’t have to be blood.
Sometimes your family
are your friends.
I got schooled this year
By my teacher
He taught me
That the points are not the point,
The point is poetry…
I got schooled this year
By my father.
He taught me that hero’s aren’t always
invincible
And that the magic
is within me..
I got schooled this year
by
a
Boy.
a boy that I’m seriously, deeply, madly,
incredibly, and undeniably in love with.
And he taught me the most important thing of
all…
To put the emphasis
On life.

Better than third

I met a girl in a U-Haul.
A beautiful girl
And I fell for her.
I fell hard.
Unfortunately, sometimes life gets in the way.
Life definitely got in my way.
It got all up in my damn way, Life blocked the door with a stack of
wooden
2×4’s nailed together and attached to a fifteen inch concrete wall
behind a row of solid steel
bars, bolted to a titanium frame that no
matter how hard I shoved against it-
It
wouldn’t
budge.
Sometimes life doesn’t budge.
It just gets all up in your damn way.
It blocked my plans, my dreams, my desires, my wishes, my
wants, my needs.
It blocked out that beautiful girl That I fell so hard for.
Life tries to tell you what’s best for you What should be most important
to you What should come in first
Or second
Or third.
I tried so hard to keep it all organized,
alphabetized, stacked in chronological order,
everything in its perfect space, its perfect place.
I thought that’s what life wanted me to do.
This is what life needed for me to do.
Right?
Keep it all in sequence?
Sometimes, life gets in your way.
It gets all up in your damn way.
But it doesn’t get all up in your damn way
because it wants you to just give up and let it
take control. Life doesn’t get all up in your damn way because it just
wants you to hand it all over and be carried along.
Life wants you to fight it.
Learn how to make it your own.
It wants you to grab an axe and hack through the wood.
It wants you to get a sledgehammer and
break through the concrete.
It wants you to grab a torch and burn
through the metal and steel until you can reach through and grab
it.
Life wants you to grab all the organized, the
alphabetized, the chronological, the
sequenced. It wants you to mix it all together,
stir it up,
blend it.
Life doesn’t want you to let it tell you that your little brother should
be the only thing that comes first.
Life doesn’t want you to let it tell you that your career and your
education should be the
only thing that comes in second.
And life definitely doesn’t want me
To just let it tell me
that the girl I met,
The beautiful, strong, amazing, resilient
girl
That I fell so hard for
Should only come in third.
Life knows.
Life is trying to tell me
That the girl I love,
The girl I fel
So hard for?
There’s room for her in first.
I’m putting her first.

“But when I think
I just might get something
Out of this
My parents taught me to learn
When I miss
Just do your best
Just do your best.”
-The Avett Brothers, When I drink

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